Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Back here again

First post for 2014! LOL

Seriously, the last post was like 1 year ago... /opps!/

As usual, life have been full of ups and downs

With more downs for this past 2 years...

Like posting during this unusual timing, even-though there's school tomorrow... =_=;;

& this post is going to be a damn hell gloomy one

It just shows that I at one of my lowest period isn't it?

Recently, my mind keeps on drifting off to unhappiness and gloominess...

Something small can just snap me out for the whole day, whole week, month perhaps?

I've heard on a radio programme before that 

sadness actually will last at least 120 hours before really dispatching away

WOW.... ..... ....

It's pretty true, at least to me

Relationships are complicated...

Not as in those type, but more of families, & friends

I've pretty much closed myself up again...

I wonder this is the nth already?

& I had promised myself to do well this semester onwards,

not to be shaken by my raging emotions...

Things go rather well until you've been hit by something,

BAM! & gets thrown into a frenzy of uneasiness again

I've been told to get medication, but I can't bring myself to get them...

Money is one thing, & others like I don't even know myself

No one has ever been there when I'm at the lowest,

I don't expect anyone to be...

So irritated by almost everything,

even by the movements of my younger brother shuffling in his sleep annoys me

Haix, there's nothing for me to do

Thoughts are drifting again...

It's so meaningless

So dark, empty

there's literally nothing here...

I'm like a empty shell again

& humans scare me the most.

Crazy dreams are becoming a usual thing again,

they stop & return, stop & return

like a broken cassette

I hate contact, I wish I could just stay buried at home

& here comes the buzzing.

I'll stop here now,

hopefully I'll be able to sleep tonight without exhausting myself first

Good nights,

the next time I'm here, I wish I was better

& you wouldn't have to read such a boring & unnecessary post...

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